It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
