So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
