better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
