But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im holly from the hills drunk
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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