So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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