I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have aggressive nipples.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
