so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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