You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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