Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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