I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
