youre lurking in front of me
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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