He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
