Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
