You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
