I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
