I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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