y did u give ur computer a hand job?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
