i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
