I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize