hotel room ftw
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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