Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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