belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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