I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Randomize
