No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
