i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
