Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
