i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
