its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
