I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize