Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
