She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize
