Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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