i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
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