We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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