That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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