Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
