Dual....:-)
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize