My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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