I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
now i know why i became what i already was.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
