before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
not ubering you a puppy
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
