She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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