I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
