I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize