I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
