i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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