Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I smell stomach acid.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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