week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
