U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
i've created a new STD.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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