Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
