Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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