I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
