I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
