Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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