the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
