she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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