as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize