I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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