I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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