Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize