So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
