How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
