I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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