You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
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